Many minor alterations made to the short poem Azarias, that follows Guthlac B in the Exeter Book, mostly in terms of lineation. Often while translating the first draft, I look to keep everything just about the same length and to preserve the sometimes unusual syntax, throwing clauses in where they fit in the alliterative rhythms. I like that effect and try to keep it in the modern English, but sometimes it has to be altered just so the translation reads more clearly.
No real major mistakes found here — that was nice to see. I found the word “brice” in line 116a was misidentified. I gave it as “rupture” — a reading that made no sense given the context. The proper meaning is probably its derivation from “brucan”: a “service” or “use.” That fits better. So that was changed.
Otherwise not a bad showing. I think this poem is lovely and amazing, and I would love to see more work done on it. So I’ll probably come back to it often to give it little nips and tucks. Also, another thing that might be useful is to compare it carefully to a similar scene in the much longer Daniel, to see if they seem to borrow each other’s language., which might provide some insight on the presence of original compositions that get copied in different contexts (much like the Dream of the Rood and the Ruthwell Cross inscription).